why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
