I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
