I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
