She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
