so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
