Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm sobbing to NWA
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
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