Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
