We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Randomize