the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
