I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
