And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
