At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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