so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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