dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
