I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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