im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
