he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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