So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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