I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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