So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
