I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
