Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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