somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
