watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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