Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
