okay pat passed out under dana's car
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
