On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
