barbara walters just said penis...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
