Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
