you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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