Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
