Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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