Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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