I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
