the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
