can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
