I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
