of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
