its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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