I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
send nudes
from the living room?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
