whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
