Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
