she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
