my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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