For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Randomize
