Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
