I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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