Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
We are two peas in an std pod
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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