i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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