So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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