she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
