Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Randomize
