Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
